How to help your college graduate find a job, without taking over

Why is the first job search so hard for graduates?

Because college teaches a subject, not a job search. Most jobs are never posted, so the online application, the one method every graduate knows, is the least effective. Roughly one applicant in a thousand hears back on a posted role. Graduates who don't know how to reach hiring managers directly end up competing in the most crowded lane.

Many strong students land their first role through on-campus recruiting. Those who don't are left with a resume, a job board, and no plan. The result is months of silence that feel personal, even though the problem is the method.

What should parents do, and what should they leave alone?

Henry calls it the Sponsor Rule. Sponsors do four things: fund the search, open doors through their own network, ask questions instead of giving orders, and agree on a timeline. Managers do the work themselves. They write the resume, contact employers, and count applications. Sponsors speed the search up. Managers slow it down.

How can you tell if your graduate's job search is working?

Count conversations, not applications. A working search has a clear target, a short list of specific companies, and a steady rhythm of conversations with people who work there. If your graduate can't name the role they want in one sentence, the search isn't working yet, no matter how many applications have gone out.

The 7-question check. Ask your graduate:

1. Can you name the role you want in one sentence?
2. Can you name the specific companies where you'd want that role?
3. Can you answer "Tell me about yourself" in 90 seconds or less?
4. Do your resume bullets include numbers: dollars, percentages, results?
5. Did you talk to people in your target field this week?
6. Is more of your time spent talking to people than on job boards?
7. Do you know what salary you'd accept, and how to put off that question until there's an offer?

Three or more "no" answers means the search needs a plan, not more applications.

What should you say when your graduate is discouraged?

Separate the person from the method. Silence from employers says the approach isn't working, not that your graduate isn't good enough. Ask what they've learned, offer one concrete introduction, and avoid comparing them with friends who are already working. Pressure makes graduates apply to more jobs, which is usually the wrong fix.

When does it make sense to hire a career coach?

Hire a coach when your graduate is working hard but not getting interviews, when they can't say what they want, or when the search has gone on for a few months without a plan. A good coach replaces activity with method, and it is often easier for a graduate to take direction from a coach than from a parent.